holidays!!11:22 AM
Saturday, September 01, 2007
yayy the holidays are FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!:))) but its not really a holiday i guess cos we have LOADS of hw!!and revision too...exams in term 4 week 3!!so nervous....aaah does anyone know how to do physics pt??HOW do you make an optical device using stuff like a HOT DOG AND WATER and other funny stuff?what's the use of an optical device anw?we only need food and water to survive on an island!don't need any stupid optical device...you know i have been feeling very emo these days.i mean like at home.not in school la.at school i just try to be happy so that no one would ask me what's wrong.but at home its really hard to stay happy. i don't even feel close to my family anymore.everyday when they talk about things like work and shares and food,i really don't know what to say,so i just keep really quiet.i can't think of a common topic to share with them anymore.last time it was so much easier,when my brother and sister were still schooling,so i could at least share my experiences with them.but now my sister is working and my brother is in NS,and he would always talk about NS stuff when he comes back during the weekends,something about sergeants and training and all that,and everyone is just talking animatedly,and i feel so alone and left out.when they are talking,i just go to my room to revise or read or listen to music.anything but stay there in that place i don't belong.when i look at other families when we go out,and see the WHOLE family talking and smiling,i really envy them because somehow,the children have a way to connect with their families,but i can't,and i wonder what is their secret for staying so bonded as a family.sometimes i just wish i was in another family where i can communicate better,and not just try to look like im part of the family.sigh..everytime i listen to the song "innocence",i start to tear,cos i start thinking about sad stuff.mainly 1 sad thing that has really affected me a lot.i really don't understand why i am still so sad about it.its been 2 weeks already and i still haven't got over it.its just another guy,but why can't i get over it?i guess its because i genuinely thought he liked me,liked me for who i am,not just because he was bored and decided to talk to me and nothing else.when he started to dao me after a while,it was really painful.my heart ached.he just acted like he didn't care about me anymore,after all the convos i had with him.he had toyed enough with my feelings,and decided to move on to another girl--that bitch.who does he think he is,toying around with other people's feelings,and doesn't even say sorry when he decides not to talk to her anymore?i tell you he will NOT be popular with girls next time if he continues with this.i sincerely hope he will never have any girlfriends next time,because no one would WANT to be his girlfriend.HA.that will be sweet SWEET revenge mann.now i shall dao him the way he dao-ed me,and give him short,unemotional answers when he DOES talk to me,and he shall know how i felt,and make him feel the same way.and that is all there is to it~
